Usually, I file New Year’s resolutions under the heading “Hype With A Price Tag.” So I’m not here to sell an exercise program, a daily gratitude journal, or any practice or product that promises to make you thinner, happier and a little poorer before you flip the calendar again.
But I am going to suggest that if you still rely on a calendar you flip each month, you might consider how well that works for other people in your orbit. And if it doesn’t work well for them, maybe it’s time to adopt something that does.
Rural communities need younger people to step up into leadership roles in local government, volunteer organizations, churches, schools, and families. But too often those younger people run up against ways of doing things that stopped making sense a long time ago. They hear, “We can’t communicate that way because So-and-So doesn’t text.” Or “Our elders want a printed program.” This organization can’t accept donations via Venmo. That one won’t do board meetings on Zoom. The Old Guard in the other group shuts down any idea or strategy that isn’t a legacy from the 20th century. And then people moan about how you can’t get anyone to volunteer, or run for office, or call to engage in the complicated process of planning family events that don’t interfere with appointments known only to the keeper of a paper calendar.
So this is a challenge to those of us who recall the annual awkwardness of writing the wrong year on checks for most of January: Let’s do better. Let’s do better before new volunteers stop showing up, before we exhaust younger family members, before no one steps up to serve in local government.
Here’s what that might look like in our rural communities.
Respect others’ time. For meetings, show up on time, knowing what needs to be accomplished, and get to it. That’s baseline respect for people who, in order to be there, have made child care arrangements, rushed from work with maybe a bun-and-run for supper, and still have to clear snow from their driveways when they get home. It might require a discreet word with people who are valued for their contributions despite their lack of awareness, yet it is possible to change the culture of an organization to one that starts on time.
Habitual latecomers can recognize a change in pattern and join a meeting in progress quietly, along with those who were unavoidably delayed. Early arrivals are welcome to visit but are expected to shift their attention to the business at hand when the meeting starts. And when a discussion gets derailed by off-topic conversations, it’s not disrespectful for leadership to say, “Let’s get our business out of the way and discuss that afterwards.” I guarantee there will be silent cheers.
Notification and alarms. Today’s cell phones put remarkable tools in our pockets. Tools like calendar apps with a handy, customizable feature called Notifications that can give a heads up the evening before and/or day of an event or when a task needs to be done. Trying to be respectful of other people’s time? Set repeating alarms for monthly meetings to sound early enough to get there on time. Set an annual reminder to renew an organization’s fundraising raffle license. Set an alarm to repeat every other week to remind you to thaw meat for when you host Sunday dinners or pick up donuts for fellowship after worship services. Adults who expect or regularly request reminders may not mean to suggest that their time is more valuable than anyone else’s, but often that is the message.
Shared calendars. With a cloud-based calendar app, individuals and groups can grant access and share information in a way that makes planning easier for others. When the location of a meeting moves, having it posted on the calendar can help save the sanity of the person who always gets calls and texts asking where it is this time. Families can share kids’ school and athletic events, elders’ medical appointments, and other commitments in a manner that doesn’t require transcription (with inherent errors). It’s not a perfect system, especially for people whose work schedules are irregular or whose evenings activities are based upon things like mayfly hatches or what just appeared on a trail cam. But praise the efforts of those who do try to use a family or organization calendar. It gets easier with practice.
Social media. Here’s where I mean Do as I say, not as I do. I am well and truly sick of Facebook, and rarely open it. Nevertheless, it’s an effective and cost-effective way for rural communities to share information about events, changes in open hours for the food pantry, obituary links and times for funeral services, and much more. I do have an account, and open Facebook occasionally to check for specific information. My husband and friends sometimes message me posts about events or local news, which I appreciate (unlike links to time sucking videos and political diatribes). If I miss something, that’s on me. However, let’s not assume that everyone is tuned in to social media 24/7 and will see your post about a last-minute change in the time or place of a meeting or a plea for someone to pick up a person or thing en route.
That’s what we have text groups for.
Share contact info. In November of 2025, I threw away our last phone book – an artifact from back when neighbors had landlines. When my husband finally notices it’s gone, it will be because he’s looking for a notation on the cover rather than the pages inside (those are now best suited to making pressed flowers). We now have a responsibility to ask for and give cell phone numbers to neighbors. This saves time when horses jump the fence, a package is delivered to the wrong address, or a meeting is cancelled at the last minute. A text group can alert a dozen people before they even leave home when a power outage or plumbing issue closes the coffee shop where you expected to meet
In-kind donations. We should never forget that the contributions people make to our communities come in many forms. Time and talents are priceless. But it takes real money to pay for the gas to get to and from meetings and events. For many families, that includes extra out-of-the-way mileage to drop off and pick up kids or a babysitter. When you live in the country, those miles and those costs add up. And it doesn’t cost one thin dime to say, “I know it took effort for you to be here, and want you to know it’s appreciated.”
Common courtesy. Have you seen that wedding invitations now come with a QR code for your reception RSVP? Kudos to the couples who make things easy for others. If only mannerly behavior in all situations could be that simple. But sometimes it takes a bit more effort. Like finding the phone number of an organizer to call and say your kid is sick and won’t make it to hunter safety class so the volunteers running it aren’t stalling the start, thinking latecomers are on their way. If you’re the organizer whose phone number is listed as an event contact, remember to check your messages and voice mail so you can relay information from those with the courtesy to call.
No-shows. Stuff happens. Plans change. There are good reasons, and there are poor excuses for not showing up. This applies to participants and to volunteers. No-show volunteers make things harder for the ones who do make it. No-show participants cost event organizers time, effort, expenses and other resources that are already in short supply. I would remind that those expenses, like meals at a wedding reception, are usually paid for up front.
When you live where it’s not feasible to make a quick trip to town for stuff after you see who shows up, someone is putting in the effort in advance. Someone is paying for food or supplies for the number of people who said they were coming. Even if it’s a donation, the meat for sloppy joe sandwiches for a hunter safety field day has to be thawed and prepared in advance.
In our rural communities, everything from 4-H to vacation Bible school requires materials and preparation – often paid for and accomplished by volunteers who could be doing something else. Most of them volunteer because they want to contribute to the community. Most of them don’t expect anything more than a bit of courtesy and unspoken recognition that their time and efforts are appreciated.
That’s not much to ask.
Donna Kallner writes from Langlade County in rural northern Wisconsin.
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